Girl Next Door
by EveDuncan2
Summary: Tamaki Suoh has decided to take on life as a commoner... Temporarily, anyway. He's even moved into a lowly apartment and gotten a low paying job (so he thinks). The only thing that's not going according to plan is an underage girl next door who doesn't seem to understand the meaning of the word 'boundaries'.
1. A Commoner's Lifestyle

**Chapter One; A Commoner's Lifestyle**

Tamaki's P.O.V.

"You're not serious about this are you?" My best friend, Kyoya, droned from the other line.

I smiled brightly as I continued packing up the remainder of my things- Was the glass supposed to on the top or bottom of the weights... Bottom, I'm sure.

"Of course I am! As a fresh out of college young, beautiful man, I need to get a grasp of the kind of world other, less fortunate people are attuned to... Plus, I'm hiding out. All those women keep following me around and it's starting to scare me!"

I shuddered, remembering that butch red head lady that made a bold move for my belt.

The bespectacled man sighed, "You _are_ Japan's number one most eligible bachelor. And what does you graduating have to do with the poor?"

I chuckled, "Silly Kyo, everything has something to do with the lower class citizens of our country! And I plan on learning how to relate to them so, in the future, Haruhi will truly understand her feelings. That, and it'll be a good experience!"

"DON'T CALL ME KYO, YOU BAKA!" The shadow king shouted before softening his voice a great deal, "And about Haruhi... She's moved on, it's time for you to do so as well."

I frowned, "She hasn't moved on! She just wanted to take a little break is all. As a previously virtuous young girl, being with just one man- er, person- her entire life would have bored her. She's just getting all the curiosity out of her system. In a few weeks, she'll be running back into my arms, screaming 'I love you Tamaki!' as we continue in our passionate embrace, rain drops and tears of joy running down our faces-"

"She's gay," Kyoya interrupted, so abruptly that I froze in place, "Not curious, or bored. She likes other women and, unless you plan on getting a sex change operation, she'll never be with you. Accept it."

I picked up one of the boxes and took purposeful steps toward the moving truck, "I won't. I'm in love with her, Otori, and I'll wait forever for her. If you don't like it, I understand, but I'm not going to simply 'move on'. There... there will never be another for me."

There was a tense moment of silence as I continued moving boxes and Kyoya probably continued his business work.

"Okay," He said slowly, "I'm your friend, so I'll respect that decision... But moving into a lowly _apartment?_ That's just too stupid, even for you."

I pouted as I loaded in the last of my belongings, "It's not stupid! It's called 'Broadening Your Horizons'! You could actually do with some broadening, Mr. Sourpuss!"

He laughed humorlessly, "Believe it or not, I have responsibilities to keep up with. Unlike you, I won't just abandon everyone and everything on a whim. You should be ashamed."

He hung up and my lip started wobbling until I giggled slightly. He was mad at me for leaving without him. He felt abandoned. That was so cute!

I sent him a little text, knowing he wouldn't be talking to me for about a week.

_U r sooooooo +orbl ^o^ xoxoxo!_

I slipped my phone in my pocket, not expecting a reply anytime soon and hopped into the driver's seat of the... O-haul, was it called? Oh whatever, into the big movey trucky thingy!


	2. Is Worse Than Expected

**Chapter Two; ... Is Worse Than Expected**

Tamaki's P.O.V.

"Oh..." I mumbled as I looked around my new place.

And the boxes taking up over half of the whole apartment.

"No..." I finished as panic consumed me.

_HOW WERE ALL OF MY THINGS SUPPOSED TO FIT IN THIS BROOM CLOSET?!_

"Deep breaths." I muttered calmly, still tugging at my light hair, "It'll all work out... I hope."

I crossed my arms and chewed on my thumb-nail as I thought, "Hmmm..."

"Aha!" I cried as it hit me, "I'll give anything I don't need to my new neighbors as an introductory gift!"

Two Hours Later

"You've reached Kyoya Otori. I can't answer your call at the moment, but if you leave me your name and number, I'll be sure to get back to you shortly."

_BEEP._

"Lies!" I shouted as tears continuously fell from my eyes, "I've tried calling thirty five times now! You are _not_ getting back to me shortly! I need your help, mamaaaaa! Please call me back!"

I put my cell down and stared at the mountain of things in front of me.

"I need everything here!" I whimpered as I curled up into the fetal position.

_A porcelain doll? What use is that to you?! _A little head in my head screamed at me.

I looked at the dainty toy with cropped brown hair and doe eyes.

"It's pretty!" I whined to the voice.

It snorted, _Hoarder._

I gaped in realization.

A hoarder!?

Of course, it all made sense now! Why else would I feel the need to keep all this junk?!

I looked over the towering pile again and grimaced. Some of this stuff was garbage! _Literally!_

I glanced at a chocolate bar wrapper, wondering what on earth had possessed me to keep it... Oh yeah!

_"Happy birthday, Tama-chan!" Hunny chirped as he handed me a chocolate bar, "Takashi said cake isn't for everyone, so I got you this instead!"_

_I smiled, graciously accepting it, even though I had actually been craving some red velvet sweetness, "Thank you, Hunny-senpai, I will treasure it forever!"_

And treasure it I did! Well, the wrapper anyway... And, it had been six years, so I think it's been kept long enough.

I threw it away and then examined my other 'treasures'.

A sweat drop formed on my head as I saw the ridiculousness of some of the objects.

A single pink, women's sandle (Was I unconsciously a cross-dresser?), a flat basketball (Since when did I play sports?), and a seven foot globe with the countries labeled in German... I DIDN'T EVEN _SPEAK_ GERMAN!

And those were just a few of the flat out idiotic things that had no place having anything to do with me!

Was what everyone said about me true was I... was I a... _a fool? _

I dropped to my knees and looked up at the tiled ceiling, anguish filling my heart like wild fire.

"NOOOOOO!"


	3. That Poor Fool

**Chapter Three; That Poor Fool**

Tamaki's P.O.V.

"Cut off?" I repeated numbly.

"Yes, son, if you aren't going to take your job at the company seriously, then you aren't going to get the benefits a smart Suoh would deserve." The Chairman of my old high school said in a monotone.

"Are you saying I'm not smart!?" I demanded.

Silence...

"Well then!" I interjected hotly, "Since you can't see this as the brilliant move it is, I don't need your, or grandmother's money! I'm capable of taking care of myself!"

He had the audacity to laugh, "Tamaki. As your father, I like to think I know you better than anyone else in this world. That being said, there is no one else in the universe that is less capable of being independent!"

He began to laugh again, and I growled irritably, "I'll show you! I'm twenty-three years old! There to for, able to get a job and support myself!"

The laughing continued and I hung up, silently fuming in my apartment of isolation.

"How dare he?!" I finally hissed as I sulked in the corner.

"He basically called me an immature baka! That... that... JERK!" I snarled, kicking the wall and sticking my lower lip out.

"I'm not immature." I mumbled, as I crossed my arms.

_Your pouting, man. That's the very definition of immature._

"Go away you stupid voice! What do you know!?" I snapped, standing up and clenching my jaw angrily.

_That your not angry. And that you want to cry because you know no one believes in you._

My jaw relaxed and my shoulders slumped as I murmured, "I'm a grown man. I'm not going to cry over a few harsh words."

_Don't be like-_

I tuned him out by loudly humming 'Sakura Kiss' and continuing on determining what was junk and what was deemed necessary.

I would get a job once I had settled in and this whole mess would be put to bed.


	4. Just Can't Catch A Break

**Chapter Four; ... Just Can't Catch a Break**

Tamaki's P.O.V.

"But I'm a college graduate!" I whined as the door slammed in my face.

I trudged off after a minute of waiting for the door to open up again.

That was the fifth business today that rejected me! What was I doing wrong?!

It couldn't be my appearance, I was dressed to the nine and I looked like a god no matter what I wore. My recommendations were outstanding, so that was out of the question as well... What else did they want?!

I thought back to the previous conversations with my potential employers, attempting to decipher my mistakes.

_I'm sorry Mr. Suoh, but we're looking for a, er,... an older face._

_Our apologies Mr. Suoh, but you don't quite meet up with our... you just don't belong here._

_Look, man, I can't hire you. You're just too... It's just not gonna work dude._

_Ha! A person like you in a serious place of work? That's just to good! Roy, get down here, you've got to here this!_

_No way in hell. You are just so, unbelievably fucking retarded. No respectable business will ever let your stupid ass in. Try the circus, ya damn show monkey._

They got ruder and ruder the more I tried! But they didn't even tell me what I was doing wrong! Well, unless you count being young and not quite there wrong...

I gasped stopping in the middle of the street.

"Not quite there!" I interjected loudly and a mother to a three-year-old cast me a fearful look before scurrying away with her child.

I slapped a hand to my face, continuing my epiphany in silence as I hurried down the road.

I was doing the whole 'idiot' thing again! I had been bragging about how my appearance would attract more business, not realizing that I was being utterly narcissistic! How could I not of seen that before. Ugh, and bragging about being a host?! I might as well have been jabbering on about the benefits of being a male escort!

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!" I mantrad, my eyes on my shoes as I scurried back home.

And then I fell silent, a huge grin breaking out on my face.

At least now I knew what to fix! At least now, I wouldn't seem like the mentally challenged kid I had appeared as before! Yes, tomorrow a new, mature Tamaki Suoh shall be born!


	5. With Every Victory

**Chapter Five; With Every Victory**

Tama- er- _Mr. Suoh_'s P.O.V.

"Congratulations, Mr. Suoh. You're hired." Mr. Sohma said, holding out a hand for me to shake.

I felt the overwhelming need to scream, I was so excited (and relieved, the rent didn't pay itself), but that was the old Tamaki. The new _Mr. Suoh_ reacted like this;

I met his hand halfway and gave a manly pump before dropping my arm, "Thank you, sir. I look forward to working with you."

He gave me a tight lipped smile, "As do I. Mei should have your schedule ready at the front desk by now. Good day, Suoh."

"And to you as well." I returned, hiding the slight jolt of panic I felt.

Mei? He didn't mean- No, he couldn't have. Mei was a fairly common name. There was no way the world was that small.

I walked out of his office and down the stairs, a little smile gracing my lips. I did it!

I mentally slapped myself.

_Enough_ _cheering, man. Just get your papers and walk out. You can't afford to be even _thinking_ idiotically at this point._

I nodded silently and stood up straighter, walking towards the front desk with purpose.

"Tamaki?" The voice I'd been fearing to hear gasped.

I looked at the girl sitting behind the table, a phone to her ear and cursed quietly.

"_Shit. _Mei! Long time, no see!" I said brightly as her face lit up.

Her huge lips pulled up into a smile as she squealed like the girly-girl she was known to be.

"Tamaki! It's been like forever! Haven't you rich kids heard of calling once in a while?" She demanded.

I attempted to look sheepish, god I couldn't stand this woman, "Sorry, it's been hectic lately. I have been in touch with Misuzu recently. I thought you'd be around him."

She clenched her jaw, "The second I accept that ugly drag queen will be a sign of the end of the world... So! You're working here now, huh? What happened to the whole 'Heir to the Suoh Corporation' deal?"

I shrugged, "Not my thing. Hey, um, I've really got to get going. Could I get my schedule?"

Please, for the love of all that is good on Earth let me get away from her!

She laughed with that put-on high pitch of hers, "Whoops! I forgot... Here! We can talk more tomorrow. And the next day! I can't believe we're working in the same building!"

Cue horror movie music.

I forced a smile, "Yeah! This should be a blast!"

Kill me now.

**AN; Bubbles comes in next chapter, review if you want her to make her debut!**


	6. Comes A Complication

**Chapter Six; ... Comes a ****Complication**

Tamaki's P.O.V.

I practically fell into my apartment, slamming the door behind me.

Why, of all people, did that... that psychotic hose beast have to work with me?!

I sighed, defeated. It's not like I had the nerve to try for another job... Or the money to get her deported.

I sincerely wanted to cry in frustration.

_Mr. Suoh does not cry._

I sat down on the couch and laid my head on a pillow, "Why not? I hear crying is a healthy way to get over something without harming anyone."

_Crying is childish. You're an adult now._

I sighed again, "Right."

After about half an hour of silence, I was bored and getting paranoid.

Here I sat in a dark, dinky apartment, alone and defenseless. With my ex-stalker right down the street.

What if Mei was already here? Waiting behind the shower curtain- or under the bed perhaps?!

My breathing hitched as I thought of all the possibilities.

She could be right behind me!

I was building up enough confidence to check when I heard an unexpected and slightly terrifying sound.

A knock on the door.

I let out a girlish scream and flinched violently, causing me to fall off the couch and tumble to the ground. But not before hitting my temple on the coffee table, of course.

"Ouch!" I yelped and hastily brought myself to my feet.

I felt my throbbing head, checking for blood, but found only a swelling bruise that probably destroyed some much needed brain cells. Great.

I gave my third sigh of the day and hesitantly walked toward the door. Why did Mr. Suoh sigh so much? It was becoming increasingly irritating.

I gulped, slowly moving my shaking hand toward the knob.

"It's not Mei. It's not Mei." I whispered repeatedly to myself as I finally gained enough nerve to crack the door.

I nearly had a heart attack when I saw blonde hair, but steadied myself as I took in the rest of the intruder.

Blonde hair pulled into high pig tails, sparkling blue eyes, porcelain like skin, and a bright smile that ought to of been straining her lips. All wrapped up with a catholic school uniform.

My jaw dropped for only a second, before I contained myself, "Can I help you?"

She nodded, pushing past me and entering without my say so.

"Your the new guy, right? I know you are. Well, as your next-door, probably nosy, neighbor, I took it upon myself to bring you a gift. Now, isn't that nice of me?" She questioned and I could only nod stupidly.

Man, this girl was... not blunt, but... Forward.

She giggled, "I thought so. Anywho, here's your present. I didn't know what you liked, so I made you a chocolate cake. Cause, everyone likes chocolate cake. Speaking of me not knowing you, I'm in your house and you seem to be of the older persuasion, so are you a pedophile? Even if you are, with that froo- froo hair do, I'm betting you bat for the other team. So what's your name, perv?"

"Tamaki Suoh." I said carefully, wondering about her mental stability, "And I'm only twenty-three, so I'm not a pervert... At least, I don't think I am."

I was too confused to say anything more.

"Alright then, Mr. Suoh. So, now I know your name, age, and that your not a pedo. The gay thing still a possibility then? Dang, it always the cute ones, isn't it? Oh well. By the way, I'm Bubbles. I'm sixteen. And, as luck would have it, I'm also not a pervert. And we both like guys! Wow, we just have so much in common don't we?" She asked with another giggle.

I nodded, still in a state of shock.

She smiled, "Glad you think so. Nice suit. You some kinda business man? You're not the uptight kind are you? Nah, not you Suoh. Although you do look a little tense. Somethin' on your mind, Mr. Professional?"

She fell silent and I guessed that it was my cue to speak.

"Um, I don't know. Why are you here again?" I asked, trying to refrain from being rude.

She rolled her eyes, "Boy, are you slow or what? And quiet too. That's alright though. It takes a truly brilliant mind to keep up with moi! Oh, and I came to drop off your house warming gift. Cake, remember? Sure you do! No one can forget once they've tasted my home made goodies. Especially deserts! Well, I'm sure your busy with... Mature thingies, so I'll leave you be. But if you ever need anything, I'm right to your left. Night, Mr. Suoh!"

She skipped out the door I was still standing by, leaving me with a wink and a kiss on the cheek.

"Enjoy your cake!" She chirped before walking into her apartment and shutting the door.

I shut my door as well, lifting a hand to my cheek.

What the _hell_ just happened?!


	7. She's Just So

**Chapter Seven; She's Just So... **

Tamaki's P.O.V.

I had woken up the next day, feeling just as confused as yesterday night.

She- that Bubbles girl, could not be... smart. Or nomal. She was crazy, at worst.

And why the hell did she kiss me?! After calling me a gay pervert, no less!

Insane, definitely insane.

I attempted to shake out of my daze once again (failing), and pulled out my phone, dialing Kyoya's number.

Voice mail..._ again._

"Hey, Kyo, I know your, um, avoiding me and everything, but I might be surrounded by a bunch of mentally unstable people and I could use a friend. Call me."

I hung up with one of Mr. Suoh's aggravated sighs.

It had been four days, how long was he gonna be mad?

I was shrugging on my coat when my stomach gave an embarrassingly loud grumble.

When was the last time I had eaten? I had some commoner's ramen for breakfast... _yesterday._

My stomach screamed at me again and it was then that I realized I was ravenous.

"Food." I mumbled as I opened the pantry, "Where are you?"

Nothing.

I checked the fridge, "Come out, come out, where ever you are!"

Nothing but expired milk and rotting cheese.

I frowned, opening up all the cabinets, "Stop hiding from me!"

I opened up the tippity, top one that I could barely reach and felt around.

"Gotta be something edible up here..." I muttered as I kept grazing my hand over the wood.

"Aha!" I cried as I felt something squishy and a tad fuzzy under my hand.

A Twinkie! An old one sure, but it was better than a lumpy milk and moldy cheese meal.

I pulled it down and suddenly felt a white hot piercing in my pinkie.

"EEEK!" I shrieked dropping the bitey spider and stepping on it repeatedly.

I cradled my injured finger, whimpering.

"Meany!" I snarled at the dead bug.

I put a wet washcloth on my hand and shuffled over to the fridge. Maybe if I pinched my nose, the cheese won't taste so bad.

And then my nose, heightened by my hunger, picked up the scent of the single most delicious scent in the world.

A chocolate cake.

The choir in my heart started singing and my eyes watered at the sight of it.

What a deliciously beautiful cake.

In this moment I could understand the pull Hunny-senpai had felt towards them, they were _amazing_.

A gift from god, a sweet temptation from the devil, and everything else with an otherworldly wonder.

I floated over to it, blessing the angel who had left it for me, and took the cover off of it.

The scent hit me strongly and I had a hard time not slamming my whole face into it.

I gingerly picked up the fork by it (another present from that angel, no doubt!) and stabbed into it tenderly. After picking up a small bite I slowly lifted it to my eager mouth.

It hit my tongue and I moaned, _moaned_ at the taste. I have never once moaned for a food item!

But the flavors danced on my taste buds swiftly and gracefully, filling me from head to toe with its sinful delightfulness.

After that first bite, I couldn't control myself... The dessert was devoured in less than a minute.

I let out a little whine when my fork scraped against the plate, realizing there wasn't any left.

NOOO!

Without any other thought than 'More', I stomped out the door, still under the influence of heavenly cake.

"Bubbles~!" I sang, knocking on the door next to mine, "It's me~!"

Hold on, was I _singing_ to her? No, don't be ridiculous, me. Your singing to the cake.

I moaned again at the thought of more light ad fluffy goodness.

"BUBBLES~!" I sang louder, scratching my throat.

I faintly heard the creak of the door knob jingling and smiled widely in anticipation.

The door opened and a blonde, angelic baker stood before me.

"Mr. Suoh?" The sound of her voice broke through my chocolaty haze.

It wasn't nearly as intimidating as the endless chatter and accusations I had heard yesterday. No, this voice sounded younger, more fragile.

"What are you doing here?" She yawned, rubbing her eyes, "It's four am."

I looked at the dark sky in surprise... Maybe that's why Kyoya didn't answer.

"Oh, um... cake?" I tried, but now that my sugar high had faded I realized what a stupid house call this had been.

She looked at me through bleary eyes and blushed an adorable shade of pink.

"Did you... Did you like it, Mr. Suoh?"

She looked up at me curiously, her hair disheveled and clothes- Wait a second...

I flushed bright red as I caught the sight of her in merely a T-shirt that didn't quite hide her blue panties from view.

My eyes widened a considerable amount and Bubbles cocked her head, "Is something the matter?"

I turned my back abruptly, about to escape when her thin arms wrapped around one of mine.

"Wait! Why is your face all red? Do you have a fever?" She questioned worriedly.

My hand accidentally brushed against her bare thigh and I felt a liquid start running down from my nostril.

_Nose bleed._ Oh, fuck.

She gasped and I was preparing to be slapped for my perverseness when she put both of her hands on either side of my face.

"And your bleeding! You poor thing!" She gaped.

And that was when I realized...


	8. Naive

**Chapter Eight; Naive.**

Tamaki's P.O.V.

She was way too innocent.

"Do you want to come in? I can make you some soup! And I've got a band-aid for your nose!" Bubbles said and started pulling me through her door without waiting for my answer.

"I can't!" I blurted, not trusting myself alone with her in this state.

"Nonsense!" She interjected, dragging me inside against my will, "You just settle in on the couch and I'll get the soup started. And some tea!"

Her voice still sounded _way_ too cute and tired and I was afraid that if I saw her again another, more noticeable, sign that I was aroused would- er- pop up.

No way she was stupid enough to not get what that would be.

"This is bad." I whispered, panicking as I paced around the couch.

I could make a run for it! She was in the kitchen and I was faster, so I could get away easily.

But then she would hate me! Its more than rude to ditch girls- its unforgivable!

_This isn't a date, you idiot. RUN!_

Men don't run! Just... think of something else.

_You could seduce her._

BAD VOICE! BAD! I am not a pedophile!

_Just a suggestion..._

Stop making crude suggestions! I am a gentleman!

_Ha! A gentleman with a nose bleed._

The shame of that hit me once again and I started to wipe off the evidence with my sleeve.

_Perv._

I pushed that insult aside.

I was no perv! I was- um... A protector! A guardian! A father!

Yes! I had fallen back into my parental mode now that I had found an innocent, _utterly adorable_ girl with no common sense! She didn't even have the door locked!

All alone in a shady neighborhood and you don't lock the main entrance! That's worse than some of my... blonder moments.

Wait, maybe someone is here with her. She is only sixteen, so her mom or sister or something is probably in the back, sleeping... And when they wake up and find a grown man and their half naked, underage daughter/sister in the same room, I'm sure that'll go swimmingly.

Uh oh.

"Bubbles?!" I whisper screamed.

"Yes?" She called back, _way too loudly._

"Is anyone in here with you?" I asked before the rapiness of that question hit me.

BAKA!

"Nope." She answered with a kitten like yawn, "My brothers on vacation. He should be back any day now, though. Why?"

"Where are your parents?" I asked instead of answering her question.

"I don't know." She sang, the sleepiness beginning to fade and the confidence she had shown yesterday replaced it, "I haven't seen them in six years."

"Oh." I said meekly, positive that I had crossed a line.

"Yeah, well. No biggie." She shrugged as she walked in with a bowl of soup and a glass of water, "I was gonna get you the tea but you look a little over heated. The hot weather's been getting to me to."

I glanced at her still naked legs and then at the floor, "I hadn't noticed."

She giggled, "Oopsie. Guess I better get dressed, huh? Sorry. Be right back!"

She my food down in front of me and then waltzed to the back room.

OOPSIE?! That's all she has to say?!

Calm down, man. Deep breaths.

"So how'd you get sick, anyways?" She asked from behind the apparently still open door.

Did this girl have no sense of self preservation?!

_Take a peek._

Would you shut up already?!

_You know you wanna..._

That's besides the point! It's a dirty, vile and downright disrespectful thing to do to your daughter!

_You do realize she's not _actually_ your kid right?_

Of course I do! She's adopted!

_...I'm done._

Well good! I don't need your filthy nagging in my head right now!

"Hello? You still there, Mr. Suoh?" She asked and I heard footsteps approaching.

I looked up at her and died a little.

_**HOW WAS THIS ANYMORE APPROPRIATE?!**_

"What are you wearing, young lady?" I demanded, getting to my feet.

Her eyes bugged, "Young lady...?"


	9. Inappropriate!

**Chapter Nine; Inappropriate!**

Tamaki's P.O.V.

"Yes, young lady! I'm twenty three, your sixteen, I'm your elder! Now tell what the _hell_ you're wearing!" I ordered, crossing my arms as I scolded her.

She stared at me with wide eyes for a moment longer and then smoothed down her skirt, "It's the school uniform."

I examined her again, quickly, my eyes didn't need to linger on any exposed skin. She was wearing a button up white shirt with the neckline plunging halfway to china, a light and dark blue and white plaid skirt that was mini in the extreme- It didn't even go to her mid-thigh! And a light blue jacket tied around her hips, that part was appropriate at least.

"What kind of school do you go to?!" I yelled and she cocked her head to the side.

"Everday Academy. Why?" She asked and I huffed.

"You look like a stripper!" I blurted and her face flamed.

"Excuse me?!" She squeaked, "This is how Professor Tanaka told me how to dress, thank you very much!"

My eyes narrowed, "Is that so? Well I would like to have a talk with this 'Tanaka'! In the mean time button up that shirt and put on that jacket! We're going to that school right now!"

"We?" She questioned disbelievingly.

I huffed again, more irritably this time, "Yes, we! C'mon!"

I grabbed her hand and started pulling her out of the apartment.

She giggled suddenly, "And I thought I was nosy. You take the cake, Mr. Suoh."

_Cake._

I paused suddenly, "Um... Bubbles?"

"Yes?" She asked as she started buttoning her shirt all the way up- Thank god!

"Would you... Would it be possible... Can you make me another cake?!" I begged loudly and I heard a dog start barking from upstairs.

Confusion colored her features before she smiled tauntingly.

"Hmm... I don't think I could spare another one." She sighed airily and then gave me a mischevious glance.

"What do you want?" I asked in defeat.

Damn, this girl already had me in the palm of her hand.

She giggled, "If you want some more of my _wonderful_ cake, you'll have to come to my place for dinner tomorrow!"

"Is that it?" I asked and she frowned, realizing that wasn't much of a challenge.

"Um... no. I, um... Oh yeah! I need a ride home from work tonight. Robin usually drives me, but she's out of town with her new husband. So, would you mind? You have a car right?"

"Of course I do! And why do you have a job?" I demanded, crossing my arms in my parental pose.

She looked at the ground, "No reason. Teen shopping and whatnot."

I didn't believe that for a second, I'd have to get Kyoya (When he answered his damn phone!) to look into it.

"Where do you work?" I asked and she smiled sheepishly.

"That maid cafe downtown. You know the one by the Menchies?"

I froze. A... Maid... Cafe?

I began withering away and Bubbles panicked.

"Oh gosh! You're disappearing! Why are you disappearing?! Do I call an ambulance?! Are you okay?! Of course he's not okay, moron! Um... Mr. Suoh?" She finally called and I snapped out of it.

"**A MAID CAFE?!**" I finally exploded.

She nodded, "Yup. I'm friends with the owner! He let me start working last year!"

_HE?_

"Who is _he?!_" I hissed.

She smiled brightly, "Brick Jojo. Him and his little brother, Butch, opened it up about five years ago. You wouldn't believe the business they get!"

Oh yes, yes I would.

"That is highly inappropriate for a girl of your age!" I yelled.

She cocked her head, "How?"

I started sputtering incoherently and she asked me a question that made me feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world.

"What was your high school job, Mr. Suoh?"

I grimaced, "Oh, uh, I was... Never mind that! Let's get to that stupid school already!"


	10. Reckless

**Chapter Ten; Reckless **

Tamaki's P.O.V.

"This is a real nice car, Mr. Suoh. Then again, that's expected from a businessman. This is a bit strange for me though. Normally when older men get me into their car, they give me candy first."

I slammed on the breaks and turned to stare at her, in shock.

The sounds of horns honking at us was very distant in my panicked frame of mind.

She giggled, "It was a joke, calm down."

"Not funny." I growled, starting the car up again.

"I agree, but your reaction on the other hand..." She snickered.

I shook my head. She would be the death of me.

"So." Bubbles began, "You know where the Academy is, right? Cause I'm pretty sure you missed the exit about two miles back."

I set my jaw and spun the car around, not waiting for the opportunity to make a _legal _U- turn, I didn't have the patience.

"Wow, careful. There was a cop behind-"

The siren interrupted her statement and I slammed my head on the steering wheel, causing the horn to go off, and, because my luck was fabulous this morning, while I wasn't looking I ran into a lamp post and the airbag hit my already too-close face.

"Son of a bitch!" I shouted, my voice muffled due to the painful airbag my mouth was pressed against.

"Ouch." Bubbles mumbled and I looked up to see her rubbing her nose, "Geez, they never do tell you how much those things hurt in Drivers Ed."

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly.

She giggled, "It's you I'm worried about. That pig doesn't exactly look too forgiving."

I looked out the window to see an obese officer with a movie villain mustache and- how cliche can we get here, people?- a doughnut in his right hand.

He knocked on the window with his free hand and I rolled it down, praying he'd go easy on me.

"License and registration~." He began in an unnaturally high pitched voice.

In other circumstances I would have laughed at the mere sound of it, but I had never been pulled over before and I was slightly terrified.

Bubbles on the other hand...

"Oh my gosh! You sound like an anime character! Holy crap!" She laughed hysterically, tears filling her eyes.

"Excuse me ma'am. I'm gonna have to ask you to quiet down~." He said in that helium voice.

She burst out into a new round of laughter, "Oh no! Be quiet! It's too much!"

He crossed his arms, "I have a medical condition if you must know~! It's called bashful testicles and its very serious~!"

Her jaw dropped in amused wonder, "Bashful what? Bwahaha!"

"Are you done~?!" He shrieked and that did it for me.

I joined in on her laughter and I was holding my sides by the time I had calmed down.

"I'm sorry officer." I apologized as I wiped at my wet cheeks.

"License and registration~." He repeated.

Bubbles giggled and lifted up the tip of her nose, "Oink! Oink! Oink"

_A pig impersonation_?! Was she insane?! Of course she was, but still!

"That's it~!" He snarled, "Out of the car miss~! You are under arrest for~!"

She cut him off, "That won't be necessary. Just call him and tell him to put it on my tab."

"I beg your pardon~! You can't~" She cut him off again.

"Here."

She gave him a card and his eyes lit up.

"Is this~?" He began and she nodded.

"Name your price and give him my name: Bubbles. Good day, piglet." She waved cheerfully and he saluted her before marching back to his car.

What just happened?

"What was that about?" I demanded hotly, starting the car.

She smiled coyly at me, "We all have our secrets, Mr. Suoh. Now hurry up. If we're not there in ten minutes, I'm late."

Now I really needed to talk to Kyoya.


	11. Takes One To Know One

**Chapter Eleven; Takes One to Know One**

Tamaki's P.O.V.

"What are you planning to do anyway?" Bubbles asked as I marched through the halls, pulling her along behind me by her hand.

"Get that pedophile fired!" I growled, "Where's his class room?"

"Pedophile?" She laughed, "What are you talking about?"

She jerked free of my grip and put her hands on her hips, giving my the sign she wasn't moving until she got her explanation.

I groaned, "Bubbles, I don't have time for this! I have to be to work in an hour!"

She rose a single eyebrow, not saying a word.

I sighed in defeat and was about to start explaining when the all to familiar fangirls started crowding.

"Bubbles, whose your friend?" A red head with smoldering black eyes asked her with a wink at me.

"Oh he's-" She was cut off as four more girls stepped in front of her.

"Your cute."

"What's your name, sexy?"

"What are you doing with _her_?"

"Yeah, come have some fun with us."

More of the vultures started circling and, in my search for the only girl I had any ties to in this hell hole, I saw a flash of blue eyes and then a brief glance of her running down the hall.

"Bubbles!" I called after her, doing the thing I had been wanting to do since freshman year and pushing through the girls.

I caught her wrist and she turned around, a guilty look in her eyes.

I smirked, "Escape failed."

She giggled shyly, "Yeah."

"Now take me to his classroom. I'm already going to be late." I sighed and took her hand.

"Okay." She said shortly. and started walking ahead of me, tugging me along.

She was awfully quiet. And why was she so eager to get there now?

"Something wrong?" I asked and she winced.

"Nope." She said, her voice a monotone, "Here we are."

I'd interrogate her later, for now I had to tear this perv to pieces.

I burst in the room and the four students in the room stared at me, causing me to feel a twinge of embarrassment, but nothing could extinguish a father's anger.

"Professor Tanaka?!" I shouted and a head popped out from behind a news paper.

"Can I help you, sir?" He asked professionally and then his eyes flickered to the girl at my side and his gaze went particularly predatory.

"_Bubbles._ Good morning." He greeted and I felt my veins go icy.

The way he said her name... I wanted to snap his neck.

"We need to talk." I growled at him and his light brown eyes flickered back to me.

"About?"

He stood up and I briefly noticed he was only a few years older than me, but that didn't matter. What mattered was how I could do this without embarrassing Bubbles.

"Evacuate your classroom." I ordered and when he didn't respond I turned to the students.

"Evacuate! This is not a drill! Fire in the kitchen! EVERYONE OUT!" I yelled.

They screamed and ran out of the door. As Tanaka went for the door, I caught the back of his shirt.

"Except you." I snarled and dragged him over to a desk where I threw him into a seat harshly.

"Bubbles, go fetch the principal." I requested in a softer voice.

She didn't seem to sense the tenseness in the atmosphere, "You got it, Mr. Suoh!"

She practically skipped out the door and my blood melted from ice and went to broiling in a matter of milliseconds when I noticed Tanaka staring at her ass.

I slammed my fist on the table in front of him, "Have you touched her?!"

His eyes widened for a second and I could see the guilt in them before they went falsely confused, "Touched her? What are you talking about, man?"

I clenched my teeth. He had.

"How long has this been going on?!" I yelled and he rolled his eyes.

"I have no idea what you're referring to."

"Don't give me that! I saw the way she was dressed this morning! She said you told her to dress that way! So fess up, you dirty pervert!"

He grinned, "Takes one to know one."

"Excuse me?!" I sputtered out.

"You noticed how she was dressed? What exactly did you notice, Suoh? And why were you staring at her so early in the morning? Psh, your just as bad as me."

I paled before my complexion went red with anger, "Bull shit! I would never take advantage of her! She's an angel and your the fucking devil! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

He snorted, "At least I don't have pet names for her. Angel? What's that about?"

I wrapped my hands around his neck, "Angel is not a pet name you bastard! It's a fact!"

"Sir! Unhand him at once!" A elderly woman gasped and I obeyed at once, putting my hands in the air and signaling my surrender.

"I apologize." I said tersely and Bubbles laughed.

"Boy, are you a hot head or what?"

I ignored that, "Bubbles would you please explain to this lovely madame everything that has happened between you and Mr. Tanaka during your time here. And don't skip over anything."

She bobbed her head and Tanaka paled, "Bubbles, you don't need to do that. Why don't you go to class and leave this to the adults."

She frowned in confusion before shrugging, about to walk off.

"Wait!" The old woman called after her, "I'd like to hear what you were going to say, Miss Utonium."

Utonium? Where had I heard that name before?

She nodded, "Yes ma'am."


	12. You Can't Escape Mei!

**Chapter Twelve; You Can't Escape Mei!**

Tamaki's P.O.V.

"Take him away officers." I said, feeling victorious as I saw Tanaka be dragged away.

_I hope he gets ass raped._

Voice?! What are you doing back now?! Go away, you're depressing!

_And you're just sad... You do realize your already an hour late, don't you?_

My eyes widened. Shit.

"Uh, Bubbles I've got to go." I said quickly, "What time does school end?"

"Two thirty." She answered, "But I won't be off work till seven, so pick me up then."

"Got it, bye!" I said, jogging to my car.

"Goodbye Mr. Suoh!" She chirped as I burned rubber getting out of the parking lot.

_Man, you are an_ awful_ driver._

Around Three O' Clock

"Good afternoon, Mr. Sohma. I'll see you tomorrow. On time." I promised as I walked out the door.

He grumbled, "Better be on fucking time. Can't afford-"

I cut him off by shutting the door.

What time was I supposed to pick up Bubbles?

_It was either two thirty, or-_

TWO THIRTY?!

I checked my watch... Three o' eight.

DAMMIT!

I forced myself not to run out of the building. She was alone downtown and was probably about to be mugged! WHY CAN'T I BE PUNCTUAL?!

I made do with a fast walk. I had to at least keep a professional air about me, I was already leaving a bad enough impression as it was.

"Tamaki~!" I heard the witch's voice sing and gulped.

_Run, man! Run for your life!_

Shut up, voice! Maybe if I pretended not to hear her-!

"Tamaki Suoh! Are you running away from me?" Mei laughed, appearing at my side.

I laughed shakily along with her, "Oh, I didn't hear you. Sorry, Mei, but I've really got to get going. Bubbles is waiting for me to pick her up-"

She jerked me to a stop, her eyes turning red, "Who the hell is Bubbles?!"

"My daughter." I answered automatically.

She gasped, "_You have a daughter?!_"

I nodded, "Yes, now if you'll excuse me."

She was rooted to the spot in surprise so I took the opportunity to make a break for it.

"Hey!" She screamed, "Don't try to escape now, Tamaki! I need details!"

I saw the door approaching and pushed myself to walk faster.

"Whose the mom? How old is she? Is she why you can't be the Suoh heir anymore? Dammit, stop running!" She squealed and I squeezed out the doors.

Ha!


	13. Master and Maid

**Chapter Thirteen; Master and Maid**

Tamaki's P.O.V.

I made it to the Maid Cafe just in time to see that it... was still open.

You said two thirty!

_You didn't let me finish, idiot. Two thirty _or_ seven._

I growled in frustration.

I couldn't afford to make the drive again! And I couldn't very well sit here in my car in front of the place, I would look like a complete creeper.

That only left one option; I'd have to go inside.

_You don't really_ have_ to. You could just walk-_

I have spoken!

I hopped out of the car and walked quickly up to the front door.

_Eager, aren't we?_

I merely smiled.

Don't be ridiculous, I'm just happy to see my little girl after a long day at work.

_Psh, yeah, see her in a maid costume._

I just rolled my eyes and walked inside.

"Welcome home, master." A chorus of soprano voices greeted.

I nodded, "Thank you."

"Mr. Suoh?" Bubbles questioned from a few yards away.

I waved and she looked around nervously before saying to her table;

"If you'll excuse me, Masters."

"What are you doing here?" She hissed, charging at me, "If Brick sees you-"

"Who's this Bubbles?" A male voice said from behind me.

I turned around to see a red head who looked just a little over thirty wearing an expectant smile.

"A guest." She said at once.

He tapped his chin thoughtfully, "Funny you didn't address him as you would a guest."

She blushed, "Right... My apologies... Master Tamaki."

I blushed as well, why did she have to be so cute?

"Don't worry about it." I mumbled, taking in her attire for the first time.

It wasn't as scandalous as I had been picturing. It was a standard black that was mid sleeve and touched the middle of her thighs, an apron tied tight around her tiny waist and knee high white socks with little black flats. Oh, and her adorable pigtails, of course.

I couldn't hold it in any more.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her off her feet, spinning her in circles.

"Hey!" She gasped in surprise.

"You're so cute~! How can you possibly look so cute~?!" I giggled-until I felt someone dangerously close to breaking my arm.

"Mind telling me what you were doing, touchin' one of our girls?" A new deeper voice snarled.

Bubbles sighed, "Let him up Butch, he's my neighbor."

I was released and I heard the red head laugh.

"Oh! So you do know him! Tell me, are you two just neighbors? Cause that hug looked awfully intimate!... No answer! Ha! I knew it! Bubbles got her first boyfriend!"

"Shut up, Brick!" Bubbles hissed, "He's not my boyfriend, he's just a friend! Gosh, you always jump to conclusions!"

"Well how can I not! You're both adorable and _obviously_ belong together! Oh well. If he's just your neighbor treat him like any other guest. Toodles!" Brick sang going back to his office.

"Sorry man, you alright?" Butch asked, helping me up.

"Fine." I said shortly.

Butch rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen.

"Boy, do you three know how to cause a scene," Bubbles growled.

"Is that anyway to treat a guest?" I taunted.

That seemed to flip a switch in her head.

"Right this way, Master Tamaki." She said in that kitten like voice I had heard this morning.

What had I unleashed?

Three Hours Later

I was comfortable. For the first time since my awful journey to the land of commoners, I was utterly content.

I had practiced maids bringing me delicious foods, I was surrounded by tasteful furniture, lovely music was playing, and I'd been offered a neck massage from a girl named Bunny fifteen minutes ago.

I was so relaxed, I decided to call Hunny to come join my state of bliss.

"Tama-chan! I haven't heard from you in two months! Do you not like me anymore?!" The Haninozuka heir demanded in a frantic tone I usually save for my 'Mommaaaa!' cries.

"No, no! I mean- yes! I like you- I mean... Sorry, I haven't called. But I thought we could meet up. Now."

"Now? Where are you? Kyo-chan told everyone you were locked up in an insane asylum!"

My left eye twitched. Of course he had.

"No, no, I can assure you my mental state hasn't changed."

Silence...

I sighed, "No, I'm not in a mental hospital."

He laughed, "That's good! So where should I come? I'm all alone in my house right now. Takashi left me for a boring business meeting."

His tone turned into a pout in the end and I sniffled at the sound of it.

"I'm so sorry, senpai! Just hurry up and get to the Maid Cafe down in Fakinakow! You won't be alone too much longer!"

"Okay!- Wait, a _what_ caf-?"

I hung up the phone before he could ask for any more details.

"Do you need anything Master Tamaki?" Bubbles asked, still in kitten mode.

"Yes. A bottle of your best wine and a full strawberry cake. A friend is joining me." I smiled at her, trying to ignore her leaning over my lap to get a napkin from the windowsill.

She giggled, "Uh-oh. Is he anything like you? I don't think that's safe."

She was turning back to her forward self and it calmed me down a bit.

"What are you implying, madame?!" I nearly squeaked as her... chest brushed my jeans.

She stood up, gathering a few more empty glasses from my table.

"Your a bit of a hand full, Mr. Suoh."

And the bliss was extinguished.


	14. What A Drama King

**Chapter Fourteen; What a Drama King**

Tamaki's P.O.V.

"Hand full?" I whimpered.

She nodded, "But that's just my opinion... Other people might just think your high maintenance, or maybe even childish! Don't let what I think of you get you down Mr. Su- I mean, Master Tamaki."

She corrected herself as another maid, Blossom, walked by, shooting her a warning look.

Bubbles waved at me before leaving me alone in my state of despair.

_Hand full_... One arrow through my heart.

_High __maintenance_... There's another.

_Childish_... And she finished me off.

I collapsed on the table, head resting defeatedly in my arms.

She didn't see me as a father figure at all. She saw me as a _hand full_.

Like poor Haruhi saw Ranka! I was no Ranka! I like bottoms with two pant legs thank you very much!

I would just have to act more paternal and let her develop some respect for me. Then she would accept her fate as my daughter for sure.

_Accept her fate? So you admit its a sick fantasy._

IGNORED!

I sat up proudly and kept my posture erect as the door opened.

"Welcome Master!" Bubbles chirped and the new guest giggled.

"Thanks, cutie." He laughed and her cheeks pinked, "Hey Tama-chan!"

I was too busy glaring at Hunny-Senpai to reply.


End file.
